


you smell like the devil but you feel like the lord

by vbnorsr



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Desperation, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Lies, M/M, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, l is sad weak and lonely, not the sexy kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 16:59:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13505850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vbnorsr/pseuds/vbnorsr
Summary: L Lawliet is a weak creature.// second person endeavour into L’s psyche, i got bored. unhealthy lawlight, L-centric. it’s short//





	you smell like the devil but you feel like the lord

He is only ever going to hurt you.

It’s what you think, every time he looks you in the eyes, every time he smiles at you in a carefree, loving way that’s a laugh without a sound. He is only ever going to hurt you, but you try not to see it that way. For the life of you, you want to think that he’s helping.

He is only ever going to lie to you.

You don’t want to lose this game, but at this point, mostly, you feel empty at the thought of losing a friend. The way he nods his head with all that compassion and empathy in his eyes after you complain, the way he holds you in his arms some evenings where you can’t even find the words to speak, understanding and kind and made of the only family you’ve ever found.  
If it’s a lie, it’s a pretty one.

If you’re honest with yourself, you don’t really want him to stop lying.  
It’s the look he gets in his eyes when you’re on the floor, mostly, and the pain when you realize something you already knew. _Oh, yes,_ passes through your brain, (the last breath passes through your lungs, crushing, pulling, painful, hurts) _He’s Kira._

You knew this. You knew a lot of other things about Light Yagami and what he said to you.  
You’ve always known it to be a lie, and lies, as they are, always eventually come unravelled, an ugly, moldy thread buried within the core of a tapestry of something flowy and lacy and made of promise. You don’t like liars. You are a liar.

 _You want him to keep lying to you._  
The world feels so, so very empty without his lies. You’re so very lonely, and if this case is going to kill you -- _If Light Yagami is going to kill you_ \-- you may as well enjoy it. It may as well be nice.

25 years have been spent wasted, but maybe those last few years gave you some worth, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShYZN4BNZ1g) and emotional trauma  
> i probably won't be writing any more lawlight unless it's sad like this


End file.
